Therapist & Coach for couples
Guiding couples through the conversations no one talks about.
Most couples who come to me already know things can’t continue like this. They just don’t yet know how to do it differently.
Professional help that makes the difference
Relationship therapy in Dutch or English
Often, there is still love. You’re both doing your best, and yet you keep finding yourselves in the same moments. Conversations that don’t go as intended, one of you pulling away while the other wants to talk more, irritations that surface faster than you’d like.
This usually has little to do with unwillingness. What’s happening runs deeper. Patterns that have formed over time take over, especially in the moments that matter most. And that is exactly what we look at together.
In my work, I help you make visible what happens beneath the surface, so you don’t stay stuck having the same conversations, but begin to understand what is really going on — and from there, make different choices.
Whether it’s recurring arguments, growing distance, an affair, the impact of a young family, or major life changes, there is always a reason why you are here. And often, understanding that reason matters more than the problem itself.
I work in both Dutch and English with couples who are willing to take an honest look at themselves and at each other, so that movement can return to something that has become stuck.
The quality of your personal relationships is the key to a happy life and success - it's as simple as that.
Real conversations. Lasting connection. Relationship help that actually works.
For couples who are stuck in arguments, changes or a breach of trust, with openness, involvement and honest conversations that matter.
My approach
Real conversations. Lasting connection. Relationship therapy that truly works.
Expect honest questions, sharp insights, and clear guidance that gets to the heart of what’s going on between you. No long theories, no generic advice — just grounded, practical support you can actually use in your relationship.
Whether you’re rebuilding trust after infidelity, stuck in painful patterns of conflict, struggling with intimacy, or facing a major life transition I offer space to talk about what’s often left unsaid and create room for connection to return.
Sessions are available in Dutch or English, online or in person. Both local and expat couples are supported, because while every relationship is unique, the challenge of staying connected is something we all share.
What to expect
- Warm, direct, and razor-sharp: I hold space with care and challenge you when it matters.
- Emotionally grounded: We get clear on what’s underneath the surface.
- Experiential: You won’t just talk about change, you’ll experience it in the session itself.
- No blaming, no fixing: Just two people learning how to understand and meet each other again.
I use an integrated approach to couples therapy, combining insights from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, Co-Active coaching, and systems coaching (ORSC). I’m not tied to one method, I adapt to what works best for you as a couple, in the moment.
More importantly, you are given the space to feel seen, safe and supported.
Why couples choose me
Couples come to me because they want real change. They don’t want to stay stuck in the same old patterns, but want to move forward. They want to give their relationship a fair chance.
Whether it concerns communication problems, emotional distance, intimacy issues or dealing with major changes such as a move, children or a new job.
They are willing to be open, not to avoid the difficult and to work on it together.
And session after session, they notice a difference: More clarity. More connection.
And they realize: this is working, we’re really moving forward.
I had the privilege of working with Varkina and I can confidently say that she was instrumental in both my personal and professional growth. At the time, I was looking for greater clarity in my career direction, while also striving to build stronger confidence in my leadership abilities.
Through her coaching sessions, I not only gained valuable insights into my strengths and values, but also developed the tools to set clear boundaries and overcome patterns of self-doubt. Her thoughtful questions...
I had the honor to be coached by Varinka for some dilemmas I had about my leadership. At the beginning I was in doubt if hers was the right approach for me. And I was positively surprise time by time. Varinka is a positive, enthusiastic and pragmatic person. In her session, she uses the assumption that the body knows and I discover exactly the same in each talk with her. My body knows things I’m not aware: it’s important to...
I had the privilege to work with Varinka, and she is definitely the most outstanding coach I have ever met. She is incredibly personable, humorous, intelligent and enthusiastic – and has been truly game-changing to my personal journey. She provokes you to ask the right questions and guides you in a light, yet very directional way. It’s been an absolute pleasure to work together.
Had a wonderful connection and professional/personal growth with Varinka’s coaching. She helped me identify my authentic self, reminded me to be that person despite if others “understood” that, but also how to navigate those that don’t. I spent 6 months with her and it was an amazing experience. Her high energy, sounding ear and keen attention to detail truly help you identify things you want to achieve each session. I appreciated that she provided me tasks, actions or readings that...
Dankzij Varinka’s humor, enthousiasme en scherpe blik voelden we ons snel op ons gemak en durfden we écht te praten. Onze relatie is sterker dan ooit. Heel dankbaar!’
Je hebt ons geholpen te ontspannen, los te laten en meer van het leven te genieten zonder zo streng voor onszelf te zijn.
Je zorgt voor een open sfeer waarin we ons gehoord en serieus genomen voelden. To the point, betrokken en met aandacht voor ons allebei.
Relationships don’t change in a single conversation.
That’s why I work with structured coaching journeys.
We always start with a complimentary intake to explore what’s going on and whether this is the right fit for you as a couple.
From there, we choose the coaching journey that aligns with where you are now and where you want to move towards.
Free chemistry session
1
A short, informal conversation to see if we’re a good fit.
Reset programme
2
For couples who long for more understanding and want to rediscover what once felt so natural between them.
Deepening programme
3
For couples who notice they keep coming back to the same patterns and want to understand what’s underneath.
Transformation programme
4
For couples who don’t just want to repair what’s broken, but are ready to build something new together.
Approach & Investment
Relationships don’t change because of one good conversation.
They change when you’re willing to truly look at what’s happening and do something different within it.
That takes time, attention, and honesty. From both of you.
That’s why I work with structured programmes, where we move step by step from insight to real change.
Each session lasts 90 minutes and is offered in English or Dutch, either online or in person. Giving us the space not only to understand what’s going on, but to actually shift it.
The investment depends on the programme you choose — aligned with where you are now and what’s needed to move forward.
This is not a quick fix, but a conscious choice to do things differently together.
Locations & online sessions
| Renesse | |
| Delft | |
| Bergen op Zoom or Goes | |
| Online | |
Frequently Asked Questions
What if one of us isn’t sure about couples therapy?
That’s completely normal. Most couples start this process with some hesitation. You don’t have to be fully aligned yet, that’s part of the work we’ll do together. What matters most is that you’re both willing to show up and explore what’s really going on.
How many sessions will we need?
That depends on your situation and where you are as a couple.
In my work, I see that real change takes time. That’s why I work with structured programmes, so we don’t just understand what’s happening, but can actually change it.
During the intake, we’ll explore what’s going on and which programme best fits your needs to move forward.
Is this therapy or coaching?
A bit of both. I work as a relationship therapist and couples coach, which means we’ll go deep emotionally, but also stay practical and focused. My background includes Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method. but what matters most is that the sessions help you move forward.
Is it worth the investment?
If your relationship feels tense, disconnected, or stuck in the same patterns, the cost of not doing anything is often higher. We invest in so many things, phones, holidays, streaming subscriptions, but rarely in the one thing that impacts everything else: our relationship. A fulfilling connection improves your mental health, your work life, your parenting, and your overall wellbeing.
Can we do sessions online?
Yes. I offer sessions both online and in person, in Dutch or English. You can choose what works best for you.
What if we’re an expat couple or from different cultures?
Perfect. I grew up between two cultures myself, and I often work with couples navigating cultural differences. But even if you’re from the same country, you still bring different backgrounds, habits, and expectations. That’s exactly what we’ll explore together.
What if we need to cancel a session?
Life happens, I get it. You can cancel up to one working day in advance via email or WhatsApp. Cancellations made within 24 hours will be fully charged. Note: Saturday and Sunday don’t count as working days.
